Listening to: My fan
Reading: Your Lies
Watching: The clock
Eating: Your Hate
So, there's a lot of bad bullshit that's just down the road.
On the 20th, I have a court appearance; I must appear and guess what? I cannot.
Why? Because I have no way of making it there. So, for that, I'll have a bench warrant issued for my arrest, all because I have no way of making it.
The offense I was charged with, carries a maximum sentence of six months jail. Given my bad luck with this type of shit, I'll likely get it, especially since it'll have an additional charge with failing to appear.
If so, I'll hang myself. So, I'm writing this farewell in advance, just in case it does happen.
Do I deserve better? I know I do, but I'm one of a select few who agree.
Should I have to deal with this? Those with common sense say no, and are correct, but society who is infinitely wrong, and the ones with all the power, say yes.
Of course, I'll be contacting them about it, and will insist to the heavens that I speak directly with the magistrate, but I do not see that panning out because of the whole 'special treatment' BS I've often had shoveled on me over the years...
I mean, Hell...it was simple, what I had to do to be in compliance with the court orders...but even then, because of financial shortcomings I have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER, it made it impossible. You know what? I should get everything I need for FREE FROM NOW ON THEN.
Free groceries, free clothes, free services across the board, everything. Though it wouldn't actually contribute much to paying off the debt society owes me, it would be a start.
No, it wouldn't harm their businesses, because if I'm the only one not having to pay, it does NOT affect their profits enough to make a noticeable impact. Hell, I've researched this myself, and the average profit loss by percentage per year would be < 0.00001%. Of course, this was only researched using grocery stores and stores that sell similar commodities.
Hmmm...seems there are people asking questions.
Why don't I just walk to wherever I need to go?
I have an issue with walking great distances; I'm not exactly in the best of physical shape and as this body is prematurely aging, I'm not getting any better no matter how much exercise I get. If I did walk over seven miles to get to my therapy appointments, or two miles plus to get to my court date, I would not be in a clear state of mind; the pain my body would be in would rob me of conscious thoughts of the clear and focused kind. In other words, BAD IDEA, that unless you like seeing me ready to explode.
Ask for a ride?
Who would I ask? My so-called 'parents' can't drive; one has a broken arm, the other can't see worth shit and I sure as FUCK don't trust him behind the wheel. No, I have no one else I could ask either, because of this fucked-up society and their fucking bullshit.
Catch the bus and not pay the fare?
That's playing with fire; though there are times when you can board and the driver will let you ride without a fare, at any time there could be security on board or get on board and if you've not paid, you get into trouble. Yes, you can get a free ride if you board a bus whose fare box is not functioning correctly, but that is not common. If you're an active military member, the bus service is free, and that also applies if you're a police officer, but I'm neither one of those.
Within city limits, that is incredibly unlikely, unless if someone who is kind happens to see you barely miss the bus and offer you a short ride to catch another bus (happened to me once).
Don't they do court appearances over the phone?
Only if you're in jail and are unable to actually leave to go to court. Or if you're under house arrest, but usually, you get a police escort for the latter.
Can you get a continuance?
That's something I'm looking to inquire with the magistrate directly about. But since there's already been one, regardless of my situation, the likelihood of getting another continuance is very low. If I did, it would likely be a sixty day continuance, and then if I didn't show up for that date, I'd be in much bigger trouble.
Can you get a small loan to get the few things you need?
I would if I could; I have no credit whatsoever, also, no job. If I were to get a loan I'd have to have a reliable co-signer, and ummm....I don't. I'd also have to get at least $1,000 (the lowest any lender will give-I don't know why that is but it is), which means that I'd be paying back around $1,400, with the interest rates being the bullshit rates they are. In the end, not really worth it because I couldn't pay it back and then I am in even worse legal trouble, with hard time and a massive fine as the maximum penalties, plus a felony on my record.
Kill yourself, before your appearance, but only fake it and run...
Oh yes, I've considered this, except, I have no way of getting way the Hell out of the reach of these puppeteers. Since I really don't have any money, I'd have to rely on hitch-hiking, and likely sleeping in dark alleys. To be able to fake your own death and make it requires a lot of resources, and in the resources area I lack greatly.
Hire a lawyer?
Do you have the money I'd need for that? No, I thought not. Also, those pro-bono or contingency lawyers require some decent advance notice; it is a bit late now since my appearance is less than two weeks away.
Make yourself appear like you've lost grip on reality?
Considering that too. It might be my only option.
Take some things from others without their notice and sell them off?
I'd consider that, if there was really anything of value in this house I could lift for a little extra money, but there isn't really.
Sound emotional and ready to flip your lid when you call City Hall then?
Considering that as well. Though it may end up making things worse, it is a gamble I'd risk.
Make an example of everyone's idiocy?
Yes, I plan to do that, but I have to do so in a way that won't get me in any worse legal trouble.
Threaten to take your life if things aren't made to accommodate your needs?
Yes, I plan to do that as well, though it can be expected that can be turned against me, like most other things when it comes to fucking over the system whom has fucked you over for the past 20 years...
Well, there's prostitution...
I am one inch from crossing that line, for several reasons, and I am about ready to contact someone nearby, in the hopes that I'd get at least $300.
Would calling a crisis line be helpful?
Likely not, in fact, it would likely be the exact opposite of helpful, in a case like this.
Get yourself kidnapped? Also, taken far away?
Playing with fire, and a 120 volt electrical outlet simultaneously. But I have dreamt of being kidnapped and somehow ending up in a place I've always wanted to visit and somehow, getting the good graces of their government by helping with some international conspiracy by just being in the wrong place at the right time. Yeah, not likely, I'd more than likely wind up dead or worse, enslaved.
Maybe, just make the walk there, and then let all Hell break loose at City Hall?
If it'd do me any good, then I'd consider, but likely, I'd get tasered and maced, maybe even shot. Not exactly my idea of fun, but if the right person did see my suffering, something could come of it, but that is incredibly unlikely.
Pretend you're badly ill? They couldn't possibly make you go if you're badly sick?
True, if you have a bad cold, or worse, influenza or the likes, they will NOT let you come in, unless you have one of those masks that cover your mouth (they don't provide this). Thing is, there's no guarantee I won't have a bench warrant for my arrest, and if I was faking it, and it is plain as day that I was, I'm in huge trouble, adding another charge, and the added charge would be worse than the initial charge, because attempting to defraud the courts is a felony, which carries a minimum 2 year prison sentence.
Wow, you really are screwed, aren't you?
Pretty much. I'll be blamed for it, but really, it is the fault of my so-called 'parents', who steal from me and therefore, fuck me over. However, I'm the only one who cares about that. So, it has been one Hell of a ride, even if I'm really the only one on the ride since you've all abandoned me, all 100+ of you who cared for me at some point but hate me now because of my honesty and fairness, just like the rest of society whom I wish would just die.
Well, either the rest of you, or me, right? Bye-bye.