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Phase Shift

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sweetladyamy's Profile Picture
sweetladyamy
Amy Samantha
Artist | Hobbyist | Other
United States
Transgender, male to female. I'll never live the life I desire, and I am forced to accept it, under laws that allow criminals to abuse me.
Interests

Through my eyes...

Journal Entry: Wed Jul 30, 2014, 4:05 PM
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Watching: Under The Dome, Young and the Restless


I hear this all the time.

'You should look at the positive things in life...'

Right. I wonder why you don't see I'm trying!??

Maybe it is because that when I do, I often times wander into the fantasy parts of a positive world.

That isn't something I can really control, because I often think about these things in my daydreams, and daydreaming, fantastic go hand in hand, usually.

Of course, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything, am I hearing this right?

There is such a thing as mental limits. Physical, mental, emotional limits are all a part of being human, and for me, my mental limits were set low, very low, from the beginning. That also applies to my emotional limits.

But just because I know this to be true, doesn't make me any more believable.

So, why can't I have a more positive outlook on life?

My eyes were opened to corruption when I was young; it is an undo-able act that has basically set my life, and my future with or without my consent.

I see evil and greed everywhere. I cannot unsee it. I still do not know why this happened to me and not the next kid, but I cannot do anything about it. At least, not as a mortal.

As an individual transcending mortality, I could change a lot with just slight of hand.

So, my ultimate goal is to do just that. Not necessarily become immortal, but to become an individual above mortality, one with power and capability to change a lot with little to no effort (metaphorically).

Is it possible? Hell, any mortal can transcend mortality. But to attain this does require a commitment to the Altarian Resolve.

I made this commitment long ago, but the facts are facts. The human race holds me back, as does Fate (entity not destiny).

Until I can break free of the grasp of doom, my power and ability will remain locked away.

I cannot do this alone, I realize. Vivian realized it also. She paid her life for trying to break me free, and I'm suffering worse consequences by other inhumane mortals because they believe in my suffering as being justified.

This includes the Police, whom are not forgiven for their transgressions against me, as well as any and all judges whom have degraded me in any way.

Anyone whom has ever caused me harm is also unforgiven.

Those who could act and choose not to are given an ultimatum to either act or be sentenced to Hell.

Those who know they're an exception are recognized as excepted.

But I will say this. My patience for forgiveness is running thin, and those who harm me from now on may or may not be forgiven by me, which is actually worse than not being forgiven by the Altars.

So, am I really a bad person for being realistic? The answer is no, and that is all that needs to be said.

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Comments


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:iconcrucifer666:
Crucifer666 Featured By Owner 5 days ago  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for commenting my pics and fave some of them. Glad your like them. :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconmzdish:
Mzdish Featured By Owner 6 days ago
thanks for the fave!!   Keep your chin up..i was once a lonely young tranny...i worked it out
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(1 Reply)
:iconkezmayu:
Kezmayu Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know whether you're still alive or not, but wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope everything is much better; that of what you've always, truly deserved. You've always been inspiring, strong, and powerful...you stood your ground and didn't cheat your way out, even though you knew you could do it to help you while staying alive...You will be missed, honored, loved; I can only hope now that you actually are doing much better, feeling much more happy.. and may I be happy with you if you are feeling a genuine happiness. I just want you to know that I always did care; I never stopped caring, and I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you and be there for you as much as you needed...we ALL failed you, and for that, I am very, very sorry for being a part of that...
If you actually did it, I can only hope you're in a better place, never to be in pain again...though it hurts, I am happy for you. :rose: R.I.P...for all of eternity. :heart: 
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:icondeathroseorchid:
deathroseorchid Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I guess we will see if anyone responds...
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(1 Reply)
:iconfantasylover100:
fantasylover100 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch
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